Be Big.

Today, my heart is feeling a little bit heavy.

Well, I might as well be for real.  My heart is feeling a lot heavy.

A lot of my "people" are hurting.

People I love have sick kids and are crying out for answers.

People I love have sick parents and are praying for suffering to cease.

People I love are dealing with big things like divorce, or the possibility of divorce.

People I love are dealing with sin and the effects of sin.

People I love are dealing with cancer.  It seems that a lot of people that I love are dealing with cancer. 

People that I love are dealing with longings in their heart that they don't even understand.

People that I love need Jesus.

And they need to feel Jesus.

And they need to know that Jesus is still there and that He has not abandoned them in their hard times.

People that I love are facing big things.
Big things.
But God is bigger.

And God, we need You to show us that You are bigger than all of this.

Bigger than sin and suffering.

Even big sin and big suffering.
Just be bigger.  And show us You are bigger.
Flex Your muscles and let us see You.

God, today my heart feels heavy.

And then there are these three faces.

I don't think that there is one single aspect of being their mom that has not brought me closer to Your heart, God.

Whether it's the times (the many, many times) that I've been at my wits end and crying out for grace...

Or the times that I've been crippled by fear for them- 

for their safety, for their health, for their salvation, for their happiness-

those times that I've found myself pleading for them at Your feet and entrusting them to Your care...

Or the times that I've been so overwhelmed by a love this big and this pure that it leads me straight to worship...

God, I know You're a good, good Father...
And God, tonight I pray that You'll show up and be real and be big.

Be bigger than all the "stuff."

And remind us that we are one day closer to You,

where we will finally see just how big You really are.