I wanted to write Bro Justin, but I couldn’t bring myself to
do that. To me, you are just
Justin. You aren’t Bro Justin, or Dr
Justin, or the Reverend, or just “preacher” as some lovingly refer to you. You are just Justin. Because I know you in a way that no one else
knows you. And knowing you in a way that
no one else knows you enables me to also appreciate you in a way that no one
else appreciates you.
I appreciate the hours that you spend every week doing your
job. In honesty, every minute of every
hour and every hour of every day, you’re doing your job. You are always “on call.” No matter what. You can’t clock out at the end of the
day. Even after your sermons are
written, your job is still not done.
There are people to visit in the hospitals, in the nursing homes, and at
home. There are meetings… endless
meetings. There are emails and text
messages to reply to and an unbelievable amount of phone calls to answer. There are cancelled vacations because of
deaths, stopping in the middle of trick or treating with our kids because of
heart attacks, and nights of having to get up and rush to the hospital after
already being in pajamas and ready for bed.
There are date nights that are made up of dinner, just the two of us,
but only after we stop by the funeral home or the hospital first.
I see all of this first hand. I know and I understand many things that the
rest of our church family doesn’t know and understand. And I appreciate you more than you will ever
know because of everything that I see that goes on “behind the scenes.” There is no way that someone could pastor a
church in their own strength. If it
isn’t a calling from God, there’s no way you can do it. Spiritual warfare is a real thing, and it’s
something that I’m reminded of daily because of our life in the ministry. But every morning, we get up and face a new
day. And I can get up and face a new day
every day because I know that I’m facing that day beside you. I’m thankful for this calling of God on your
life, even though it certainly isn’t easy.
At your ordination service, our pastor at the time said,
“The church is the bride of Christ.
Kendra is your bride.” I’ve thought about those words several times
throughout the past three years. I’m
thankful that you always make time for your family. You are the hands-down busiest man I know,
but I never question where I stand with you.
You aren’t married to the church.
You are married to me. And I’m
thankful for that. Not every wife can
say that- but I can. And I’m grateful
for that. Every day isn’t easy. We are FAR from perfect. We don’t always get it all right. We don’t always love each other the way that
we are supposed to. We don’t always make
the right decisions concerning our kids.
Our house is messier than I wish it was.
We don’t have dinners around the table as a family as often as I wish we
did. Sometimes we fuss and we fight. Sometimes our patience with each other runs
really thin… But you make me laugh
harder than any human being on earth- and making you laugh brings me a
different kind of joy than anything else in life does. You listen to me when I’m frustrated or sad
and I cry and don’t make much sense. You
protect me and you defend me. And I
appreciate all of that about you.
I’ve seen you spend time on your knees praying for God’s
will to be done in our church. I’ve
heard you tell God that you want to see His glory, and that you just want to
get out of His way and let Him work.
I’ve seen you be broken. And I’ve
seen you be so full of God and so amazed at His grace and mercy on our lives
that it’s brought you to tears. I see
your insecurities. I know the ways that
you feel like you fall short or you don’t measure up. But you are a man of God and a man of
integrity and you desire His glory above anything else in this life. And I appreciate that about you so much.
The last three and a half years of being your wife has been
different. I’m not only Justin’s wife,
I’m also the pastor’s wife, and that’s brought about some adjustments, some
difficulties, and some frustrations. I
have often felt lonely and many times felt isolated. Being a pastor’s wife is weird, for lack of
better words. There are times that you
don’t feel like you have a pastor. My
entire life, when someone was sick, we called the preacher. When we needed prayer, we called the
preacher. When big decisions needed to
be made and we needed wisdom, we called the preacher. When we were sick and in the hospital the
preacher visited us. When I had my first
two babies, the preacher came to the hospital to see us and to hold them and
love on them. But now I’m married to the
preacher and everything is different.
Sometimes it’s weird to not have someone that you have a “pastor”
relationship with. So sometimes, I feel
like I don’t have a pastor, and sometimes, at church, I even feel like I don’t
have a husband. Being a pastor’s wife at
church can sometimes feel like being a single parent. At fellowship meals and church events when
you are talking to church members, visiting with visitors, and shaking hands,
I’m often sitting at the table alone with our three kids. While most couples sit beside each other
during worship and are shoulder to shoulder during the preaching, I’m often
sitting alone. I’m not complaining or
wanting to be felt sorry for, I’m just stating the facts that being a pastor’s
wife is sometimes hard and it’s often lonely, and it’s sometimes weird.
But as weird and as hard as it is, I’m thankful to be
walking this road with you. Watching how
hard you work, and how hard you pray makes me appreciate you in a deeper way
than I knew was even possible. I trust
your heart because I hear you pray. I appreciate
the way that you strive to lead our family in the way that you feel God wants
you to and I appreciate the way that you desire to lead our church in the same
way. You are a tremendous pastor and you
are a phenomenal preacher. Those two
things are not the same thing, but you are outstanding at both. You are a great husband, a terrific father,
and a wonderful best friend. I have a
front row seat in watching you fulfill all of those roles every day, and I
couldn’t be prouder of you. And I just
wanted to say how much I truly do appreciate you.
Happy Pastor Appreciation Month, to my pastor, my husband,
and my friend.
Love,
Kendra
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